Blog: Golf, and Other Four-Letter Words

I’d be the first to admit that I golf pretty much the way I play basketball. Which is to say, I don’t. It isn’t that I have anything against golf as a hobby or sport or whatever people want to insist that it is.

In fact, I think golf is a marvelous way to spend some time outdoors, flinging balls and sticks about and cussing and drinking and careening around the greens on those tiny carts at speeds approaching 700 miles per hour. At least, that’s how fast they seem when you’re diving out of the way as one bears down on you.

It’s just that, to me, much like fishing and tennis and weddings, golf seems like more of a supplemental beer-drinking activity than the stand-alone, competitive, big freaking deal that some people make it out to be.

Personally, I’ve always been rather fond of mini-golf. It’s got many of the same aspects of big person golf, what with the spending time outside and the socializing and the cussing and the hitting things with sticks, but with the added perks of decor like volcanoes and pirate ships and the fact that you are never more than about seven steps away from the bathroom at any point in the game.

But there are hundreds of millions of persons around the world who take this extremely seriously, and as they tend to be carrying heavy metal objects with them most of the time, it’s best to assume that they are sensitive to criticism and just go along with whatever they say about golf. And politics. And, really, anything else they say, so long as you’re standing within whacking range of their nine iron.

For whatever reasons, people do love golf, and we are fortunate enough to have a really fantastic 9-hole golf course right here in New Rockford, one that has undergone a massive renovation in the past year.

Now, I know a lot of folks around here feel uncomfortable going to any place called a “club” without some kind of laminated membership card to show at the door, but there really isn’t any reason to do so here. The former clubhouse has been completely rebuilt as an event center, with a bar and grill (with rotating tap beers and a lovely wine selection) and both indoor and patio seating areas. It’s open to the public, as is the golf course, and we are all genuinely welcome there. Seriously.

If you haven’t been out since the renovation, the course has a fabulous new website where you can see pictures of the event center and the grounds, keep up with events and tournaments, and even view the current restaurant menu at www.nrgolfcourse.com. (Incidentally, I’m required to call it fabulous because I designed it for them, but it really is quite lovely.)

So with fall fast approaching and the golf season drawing to a close, get out there and try to squeeze in one last game, or at the very least, try the food. Meanwhile, I’ll be brushing up on my mini-golf skills here at home.

This mostly entails using the old putter I found in the basement to whack ping pong balls towards the barn cats and frumpy ducks while they’re napping on the ground outside.

Another excellent pass time is our supplemental beer-drinking activity.